Getting to We (Jeanette Nyden et al.)
Problem
Negotiators can win individual terms while creating the wrong relationship.
Action
Judge every proposed term against a clearly defined relationship goal.
Outcome
The final agreement supports the relationship both parties want.
Chapter: What Are You G-e-t-t-i-n-g To?
Problem
People avoid open cooperation when they cannot rely on each other.
Action
Build trust by keeping your promises in every interaction.
Outcome
Both parties can share risks and needs with greater confidence.
Chapter: Step 1: Establish a Foundation of Trust, Transparency, and Compatibility - Trust
Problem
Hidden facts and conflicting work styles can weaken cooperation later.
Action
Use open fact sharing to test whether the parties can work well together.
Outcome
Both parties enter the relationship with realistic expectations.
Chapter: Step 1: Establish a Foundation of Trust, Transparency, and Compatibility - Transparency and Compatibility
Problem
Separate goals can pull the parties in conflicting directions.
Action
Write one clear description of the future both parties want to create.
Outcome
Important decisions move both parties toward the same goal.
Chapter: A Shared Vision and Common Guiding Principles - Step 2: Creating a Shared Vision
Problem
Pressure can cause people to abandon behaviors that support cooperation.
Action
Use reciprocity, autonomy, honesty, equity, loyalty, and integrity to guide decisions.
Outcome
Both parties can handle difficult choices consistently.
Chapter: A Shared Vision and Common Guiding Principles - Step 3: Establishing the Six Essential Relationship Principles
Problem
Competitive behavior turns shared challenges into personal contests.
Action
Treat each issue as a shared problem that requires a jointly accepted solution.
Outcome
Negotiations produce durable terms without damaging the relationship.
Chapter: Step 4: Negotiating as We - Four Rules for Collaborative Negotiations
Problem
Self-serving tactics hide interests and create resistance.
Action
Choose negotiation tactics that improve the result for both parties.
Outcome
Each party can pursue its interests without weakening cooperation.
Chapter: Step 4: Negotiating as We - WIIFWe Styles, Strategies, and Tactics
Problem
A narrow fight over price can destroy value for both parties.
Action
Set financial terms around total value and sustainable returns for both parties.
Outcome
The agreement remains financially workable throughout the relationship.
Chapter: Step 4: Negotiating as We - Negotiating Money for Mutual Benefit
Problem
Even a strong agreement can fail when no one manages the relationship.
Action
Use regular reviews to address issues and adjust the agreement.
Outcome
The relationship stays useful as needs and conditions change.
Chapter: Living as We - Step 5: Relationship Management
Problem
Parties lose opportunities when they act as separate opponents.
Action
Combine the knowledge and abilities of both parties when solving problems.
Outcome
The relationship creates results that neither party could achieve alone.
Chapter: Living as We - The Power of We
Problem
An agreement will weaken when it ignores one party's essential interests.
Action
Accept the agreement only when it supports the shared vision and each party's essential interests.
Outcome
Every party has a clear reason to support the agreement over time.
Chapter: Conclusion - We Are All Winners