Problem
Children often lack the brain skills needed to manage their behavior.
Action
Adjust your response to the child’s current developmental level.
Outcome
Children receive support that fits their abilities.
Chapter: Parenting with the Brain in Mind
Problem
Children resist guidance when strong emotions take over.
Action
Acknowledge the child’s feelings before giving direction.
Outcome
Children become more open to guidance.
Chapter: Two Brains Are Better Than One: Integrating the Left and the Right - Whole-Brain Strategy #1: Connect and Redirect: Surfing Emotional Waves
Problem
Children struggle with emotions they cannot organize or explain.
Action
Guide children to describe upsetting events in words.
Outcome
Children gain clarity and emotional relief.
Chapter: Two Brains Are Better Than One: Integrating the Left and the Right - Whole-Brain Strategy #2: Name It to Tame It: Telling Stories to Calm Big Emotions
Problem
Children cannot think clearly when they are emotionally overwhelmed.
Action
Wait for calm, then engage the child’s thinking abilities.
Outcome
Children respond with better judgment.
Chapter: Building the Staircase of the Mind: Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs Brain - Whole-Brain Strategy #3: Engage, Don’t Enrage: Appealing to the Upstairs Brain
Problem
Higher-level thinking skills weaken when they are not practiced.
Action
Give children regular opportunities to make decisions and solve problems.
Outcome
Children develop stronger self-control.
Chapter: Building the Staircase of the Mind: Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs Brain - Whole-Brain Strategy #4: Use It or Lose It: Exercising the Upstairs Brain
Problem
Stress and strong emotions can disrupt clear thinking.
Action
Encourage physical activity during emotionally difficult moments.
Outcome
Children regain emotional balance.
Chapter: Building the Staircase of the Mind: Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs Brain - Whole-Brain Strategy #5: Move It or Lose It: Moving the Body to Avoid Losing the Mind
Problem
Avoided memories can continue causing fear and distress.
Action
Help children revisit difficult memories while feeling safe and in control.
Outcome
Children become less overwhelmed by past experiences.
Chapter: Kill the Butterflies! Integrating Memory for Growth and Healing - Whole-Brain Strategy #6: Use the Remote of the Mind: Replaying Memories
Problem
Important experiences lose meaning when they are not revisited.
Action
Regularly talk about past events and shared experiences.
Outcome
Children build stronger memory and self-understanding.
Chapter: Kill the Butterflies! Integrating Memory for Growth and Healing - Whole-Brain Strategy #7: Remember to Remember: Making Recollection a Part of Your Family’s Daily Life
Problem
Children may believe their current emotions will last forever.
Action
Help children see emotions as experiences that come and go.
Outcome
Children become less controlled by temporary feelings.
Chapter: The United States of Me: Integrating the Many Parts of the Self - Whole-Brain Strategy #8: Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Teaching That Feelings Come and Go
Problem
Children often overlook important signals from within themselves.
Action
Guide children to notice sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts.
Outcome
Children develop greater self-awareness.
Chapter: The United States of Me: Integrating the Many Parts of the Self - Whole-Brain Strategy #9: SIFT: Paying Attention to What’s Going On Inside
Problem
Children can become consumed by a single feeling or thought.
Action
Teach children to step back and observe their inner experiences.
Outcome
Children maintain better emotional balance.
Chapter: The United States of Me: Integrating the Many Parts of the Self - Whole-Brain Strategy #10: Exercise Mindsight: Getting Back to the Hub
Problem
Family connections weaken when positive interactions are rare.
Action
Make time for enjoyable activities together.
Outcome
Family relationships become stronger.
Chapter: The Me-We Connection: Integrating Self and Other - Whole-Brain Strategy #11: Increase the Family Fun Factor: Making a Point to Enjoy Each Other
Problem
Conflicts become harmful when each person focuses only on their own needs.
Action
Teach children to seek solutions that consider everyone involved.
Outcome
Children build healthier relationships.
Chapter: The Me-We Connection: Integrating Self and Other - Whole-Brain Strategy #12: Connect Through Conflict: Teach Kids to Argue with a “We” in Mind
Problem
Brain skills grow slowly without consistent practice.
Action
Apply the whole-brain strategies during daily interactions.
Outcome
Children develop more integrated thinking and behavior.
Chapter: Conclusion: Bringing It All Together